taste of cherry
wrote this as a response/review of the film and it is only partially cringe so i am posting it here too. also because i want to be posting on here more
being deprived of hope is not despairing. the flames of earth are surely worth celestial perfumes.
-albert camus (the myth of sisyphus)
the film begins with mr. badii looking out his window. he lingers beside each stranger. looking. searching. but searching for what?
we eventually learn that he is trying to find someone to cover his grave after he kills himself.
but, there is more than that in his gaze.
he is looking for something, anything, that can reaffirm his life, that can prove that, after all, life is worth living.
we have no idea, as viewers, what the conditions of mr. badii’s life are. we have no idea what specifically has driven him to wanting suicide. all we know is that he is in a pain that he thinks he cannot bear, and therefore his only option is to end his life, and, with it, his pain. (how does one get past one’s pain? can one get past one’s pain?) we do not know if this pain has come from a specific personal experience, or an ended relationship with someone, or maybe a disheartened view of the world, maybe due to all the pain in the world that he is subject to witness and be aware of just by existing (the political landscape is very present this film, the war(s) are constantly mentioned, one of the passengers he picks up is literally a soldier, etc.). maybe, whether brought by something specific or not, he is just stuck in the gap of the absurd, asking the world what the meaning of it all is and never getting any response, as the world is absolutely and functionally incapable of ever giving an answer to what it’s meaning is. (we can never know; there is no meaning.)
he mentions that his time in his service was the best time in his life. maybe this is because, while he was in it, he had a clear and strictly defined purpose and routine; he had no reason to try and seek out any other personal purpose for that time being.
throughout the film he drives through the town, and up and down and around all the hills. his setting and the landscape is extremely distinct. between the long/long-distance shots that allow the viewer to gaze at the golden hills, to the focuses on all the people and workers in the background, the children playing, and the soldiers marching, to the long shots of the machines themselves working and sifting through literal dirt, it’s impossible not to take into account the surroundings. additionally, the film is completely score-less, all that is heard is the noises of the wheels on the gravel, birds chirping, cars honking, trees sifting in the wind, and occasional background dialogue.
“what a nice place.” mr. badii remarks to the security man.
the security man responds, “nice? it’s nothing but earth and dust.”
alas, it is nothing but earth and dust. the majority of the film consists of just the hills of earth and dust. how can one find value in dirt?
there is a moment when mr. badii is sitting and blends in with the incoming dust, and the moment is visually breathtaking. why? it’s just dirt.
mr. badii cannot see the value and beauty and he cannot see how anything could be worth the pain he feels.
but, in the sheer chance of existing alone, lies the worth.
near the beginning are shots of birds flying in the air. birds flying may just be birds flying. but it also is expression, life, dependence, and collaboration.
the museum worker relates his experience to convince mr. badii of the worth of living. he says:
“so i climbed the tree and tied the rope on tight. then i felt something soft under my hand. mulberries. deliciously sweet mulberries. i ate one. it was succulent. then a second and a third. suddenly, i noticed that the sun was rising over the mountaintop. what a sun! what scenery! what greenery! all of a sudden, i heard children heading off to school. they stopped to look at me. they asked me to shake the tree. the mulberries dropped, and they ate. i felt happy. then i gathered some mulberries to take home. my wife was still sleeping. when she woke up, she ate mulberries as well. and she enjoyed them too. i had left to kill myself, and i came back with mulberries. a mulberry saved my life. a mulberry saved my life.”
one comes to realize that there is wonder in the world where one least expects it.
and, one comes to realize that there is wonder everywhere, in everything.
as i said before, we can never know the meaning of life. there is no meaning of life. all we can do is allow ourselves to continue existing. in the sheer existence of something lies it’s worth. our lives, the human experience, are singular, and unique. therefore, living is beautiful and worthwhile. we only have one opportunity to eat cherries and to watch the sunset. despite the pain we all feel, and the absurdity of human life, we must revolt, and continue existing in order to give ourselves as full of an existence as possible, as we have been given the magical opportunity to do so.
thank u for reading! xoxoxoxoxoxo