nice to meet you again

i may or may not be back. i'd like to say i will but at this point i don't entirely trust myself with that regard.

dear reader,

the last time i was posting things on here was the fall/winter— up to january. on february 3rd i moved to florence, italy, where i would spend the following three months. on may 3rd i flew from florence to london, and on may 5th i flew from london to dublin. and i have been in ireland ever since. i am living on a little peninsula, an area called the maharees, in county kerry on the dingle peninsula. i will be here for three months total.

i had expected to experience an explosion of creativity in florence. i maintained my journaling quite a bit, but didn’t write much aside from the content of my days. i think that, for the first time in my life, i actually had a very full social life. i was seeing so many people every single day; there was always so much going on. it was wonderful. (it was a curse as well, because it had only begun to really open up just as i had to leave. but i will talk more about that later. i am still trying to work out whether i think i still feel partially stuck in florence; whether it has fully sunk in that i have left. but like i said, i will talk more about that later.) anyway. i mean to say now that, although this experience of a full social life was something i absolutely needed— i had needed it for years, and i had needed it critically— in a way i’ve missed (only a bit though) the reclusiveness that covered my days for those many years, that absolute solitude that allowed for such an excitingly intense level of introspection. although i miss it, i know that it was starting to come to a dead end point. i needed something new.

but yes. i barely wrote in florence. it just wasn’t happening. i don’t feel too bad about it. although— i did draft a few posts on here, and now i’m not entirely sure what to do with them. do i just leave them sitting in my drafts to become caked in dust? or do i re-inspect them? now, here in ireland, i figure i will be spending more time reading and writing. although my environment is still surprisingly quite social, i am making a much stronger effort in it. maybe i just need to develop a very secure schedule, a strict routine, for myself.

but god, do i need to enforce this reading and writing schedule upon myself. as i write, now, i am bored with the words that are coming out. i have nothing to say. yet in fact there is so much i could say. it felt that every week i spent in italy held so many exciting new experiences, exciting new stages in my life. and they all shifted, constantly, so quickly that if i was lucky i noted down a line or two in my journal, but mainly i just let them pass me by. and now, it’s as i was saying before— do i reawaken these past moments and experiences? it’s such an odd thing, the idea of journaling about my time in florence— that past, and the person i was while there, whilst simultaneously beginning a new self, here in ireland— my present and my little future. italy and ireland. an interesting mix.

i think i will just leave this post here like this. i took thirty minutes and resumed my “identity” as a “writer”. i am deciding that it will be a little interlude. a reintroduction of myself to You (if You are even still there at all…) and later— soon— i will begin to write about the rest.

xx

2wicebitten