01.01.25
it is a place that exists open to possibility. at the edge of things. the grey grandfather rocks, granting shelter, ever-watching. it is a place, my one and only for the moment, that exists open to possibility— just as long as the wind is not too strong against my face.
the quickest way forward is the path that lies prefixed before me, and that which ceases to exist behind me as soon as i turn around in search of it. it has disappeared. and yet i had been so sure. in certain situations one must not turn around.
again and again i return to her sweet beautiful abyss and today she is so peaceful, more peaceful than i’ve seen her in a very long time. peaceful enough to almost make me feel that i have been saved. as if everything has been right to end, and everything will be right to begin in serenity.
i don’t like to walk this close to the edge and yet here i am again doing it. i have done it, and i most likely will continue to. in fact, there is no world in which i would not continue it. and so along this edge i walk.
and as i along this edge walk, i look down, down to the rocky shores, and see how the waves culminate. throwing themselves against the edge, again, and again, and again. how do they maintain their energy, their power, their anger? how have they done it for all of time itself, and gladly commit to continue for their own eternity? i had thought i was looking out towards pure peace and yet now i see what had been hidden from me.
and yet again, as i look down i see also a couple standing on the dark jagged rocks, sheltered by the cliffs, being watched only by the sea. a couple, in an embrace; and how tiny they stand, in their timeless embracement. i have invaded them, accidentally, and also i cannot look away.
i am reminded of my solitude. it stings for a small moment. here now, i have returned to my solitude, and i have returned to myself. but i know— what a blessing it is to return to one’s self after so much time away.
i leave, of course, before darkness falls. i have fled. back to the real world. although i partially feel that the real world is what i am now leaving. what is it i leave to return to, then?
happy new year, friends. many blessings to you all.
beautiful as always!